All just for you
by Jarina Summer
Summary: A HaruxMako oneshot. Mako watches Haru sleep and thinks about stuff. Haru is not actually asleep and thinks about stuff too. Written between midnight and 1 am and I am unable to write a summary right now. Sorry.


„Shouldn't you be home by now?" Haru let himself fall onto the sofa, not even looking at Mako as he asked. His friend shook his head. „No, it's okay, I can-" It took him a few seconds to realize that Haru was trying to get rid of him. After training, they had stayed at the pool for some time, until Mako had convinced the other to go home. Now here they were, and Haru was trying to get rid of him. He didn't do this very often, most of the time he just accepted Mako caring for him, so Mako knew there was something going on for sure.

Mako opened his mouth to ask, but the answer was easier to find than he had thought. Haru kept looking at a picture hanging on his wall, he and Rin on it. Only him and Rin. The reunion and how cold Rin was acting towards them, Mako really wouldn't be surprised if it upset him. Rin was one of the only people Haru had ever actually cared about, even if it was not on a level as high as it could be. But he did care about him, and that was quite rare if it came to Haru. Nagisa had always just been the ball of energy pushing him into doing something with people, and Mako was the person making sure he didn't forget about his casual life, like going to school or making social contact. They were more like reminders, notes telling him that he couldn't just swim all the time. But Rin, Rin was different. Rin had been his best friend, and no matter how emotionless Haru seemed most of the time, it was no secret that they had been very close once. Then Haru and Rin had raced, Rin lost and couldn't deal with it, Haru had stopped swimming competitively, the swimming club was torn down and he ended up soaking in his bathtub. If it wasn't for Mako, he might still sit there, not going to school, not talking to anyone, just there on his own, in the water. But Haru didn't seem to appreciate that much. Sometimes he seemed to get tired of his friend trying to help him, sometimes he even seemed to grow tired of Mako himself. It hurt, but there was nothing Mako could do. Someone had to take care of Haru, and even if he wasn't sure he would do the same for him, Mako had decided to do that, for however long it had to be.

It was all just for Haru.

Mako looked at his friend. His eyes were closed now, he was breathing regularly. He looked so peaceful when he slept. Mako sat down at the edge of the sofa, careful to not wake Haru up. It had been an exhausting day with a lot of swimming and hard training, it was unsurprising that he had fallen asleep so fast. For a moment, Mako was tempted to lean down and just kiss him, but he knew that the idea alone was ridiculous. There was no way Haru felt the same for him as Mako did for Haru. Haru barely cared about Mako. Liking him at all wasn't even certain, and liking him this much was so far away from reality. There could never be anything more between them than what already was, but with time, Mako had learned to accept it. Caring for Haru, seeing him happy from time to time, sometimes that was already enough. And even if it wasn't, it was the only thing he could ever have. He would do everything. Anything to make him happy. All just for him.

Mako stood up and grabbed a blanket. Carefully he covered Haru with it, trying his best not to wake him up. Softly he whispered: "Sleep well." For a few seconds, he hesitated, then added: "I love you." He gave him one last, weak smile before turning around and leaving quietly.

At the sound of the door closing, Haru opened one eye to see if Mako was really gone. When he realized he was completely alone now, he closed it again and tried to sleep. It had been a rather tough day, especially since Rin had been on his mind all the time. He was like a fisherman, and Haru was like a dolphin that had been caught in his nets. Luckily, there was Mako to keep him going, even if Haru never thanked him for it. It had been hard for him to even admit it to himself, but he needed Mako. Rin caught him and set him on fire, Nagisa gave him energy, but Mako was the one who set him free. If it hadn't been for Mako, he would still be sitting in his bathtub, all on his own. He would always just keep lying on the ground if it weren't for Mako to take his hand and pull him up. He would never take a step if there wasn't Mako to show him the way. And Haru knew that better than he liked it.

When Mako now had just unknowingly confessed his feelings, he had caught Haru off guard. There had been times before at that he had at least thought about it, wondered if his friend might not like him more than he thought, but he hadn't expected it to actually happen. Feelings had always been a bit too weird and complex for Haru, especially if it came to people. What he felt while swimming, that was easier to explain. The freedom, the lightness, the silence, banning everything from the outside world and giving him a safe, quiet place just for him alone, where nothing could ever hurt him. But Mako? That was a lot harder to describe. He was very much aware that he needed him, but he started to mind less and less. He was glad Mako was his friend, and sometimes wondered why that even was – he never did anything for Mako after all. He just let him care, never thanking, never showing him how much he needed it, never doing anything in return. But showing his feelings was hard for Haru, and his social skills weren't too well. How often had he wished to be able to tell Mako how much he meant to him. Whenever they walked to school together, whenever Mako offered his hand to pull Haru up, whenever they went swimming together and Mako stayed just for Haru, and whenever they looked into each others eyes, moments in that the time stood still for a while. So often Haru just wished he found a way to tell him what he felt, but he had never made it.

Because maybe, the truth was, Haru didn't know what he felt himself.

He couldn't really tell how long he kept lying awake, wondering about his feelings. Only after some time, he realized that saying what he felt might not even be as hard as he had thought. Maybe it was actually quite simple. It had been all there, inside himself, but finding it was hard. Haru curled up under the blanket, slowly beginning to smile, something he hadn't done for a very long time. Eyes closed, he whispered a few last words before falling asleep: "I love you too."


End file.
